Wanna delve into Derek's boring life? Just find a summary that holds your interest and click on the date to see the full diary entry.

Rants from 1999:

Just back from Henderson Kentucky with a brand new story designed to raise those little hairs on the back of your neck. A big shout out to Skepson for e-mailing me the initial info on the subject

Seen the exciting new entry tagged as an Amateur Hour? It's not for the faint of heart, trust me. If anyone else out there is vomiting up things that shouldn't be in their stomachs then feel free to keep it to yourself.

Oh the loon from Atlanta has contacted me again. He must have some kind of phobia against corporations because his new story is all about Amelia Earhart running a major airline.

Got my first e-mail from Japan. My cyber empire knows no bounds. I conducted a quasi interview via e-mailed questions with the guy who claimed a dragon came up from the earth during the Kobe earthquake.

Ask and you shall receive. My favorite tabloid reporter gave me a tip on 2 twins who think they were Siamese when they were born.

What's up with the all the 'old people do the wackiest things' news? The newest entry in amateur hour is all about this guy's grandmother building an altar to the anti-Christ.

Contrary to popular internet rumors the world did not end in meteorite impact glory today. You can all get out from your bunker and proceed to work on Monday.

They clued me in on a Florida retiree that claims to have been connected with the both the Mafia and the Kennedy assassination. After being up in Michigan I take any chance I can to get closer to the equator.

Anyway I drove all the way up to this God forsaken state to see a little boy who claims to have the power of automatic writing. I'm still undecided on the subject but you can read the report in the 'pedia and decide for yourself.

Stop the presses! I take everything back about what I said last week being slow. I got's hot new video. Zapruder footage, Patterson bigfoot kinda stuff. Stop reading this crappy rant and go and check out the amazing new footage I just got my hands on.

Now sing along with me 'Where oh where have all the freaks gone.' Slow news week. I haven't seen hide nor hair of my little Sherlocks (as I call the usual suspects who haunt this web site).

So I hopped on board one of those cramped torture planes and 5 hours later I was in the state of Washington. Heap big difference between here and there. Oh, who was the sucker . . . er nice sponsor? Well it was none other than the 17th annual Bigfoot Convention. I was a guest of honor.

Well you can start clicking on those sponsors cause I just did a half hour phone call with a guy in Australia. Check out the new entry in the 'pedia for all the details.

Yeah, yeah, I know. The discussion boards crashed yet again. This time, at least, Lan was in town when it happened (so she didn't try to blame me for making it worse.)

Let's start things off on the right foot by giving praise where praise is due. A big freaky thank you to JZ. in the neon capital of the world, Las Vegas, for his tip on the bible projectile.

It's a rare thing that you see me up and at 'em before high noon. But here I sit at 9 am munching on a bowl of sugar treats and milk and feeling all a chipper inside. I have no idea why. Maybe something is toying with my body chemistry.

You ever find yourself in a situation you don't want to be in? Happens to the best of us. I don't mean the freak in Atlanta with the big ideas. That was of my own doing and I have to admit it makes a good report. The situation I'm talking about happened this week when I met the future life hippies.

I just spent the most frustrating 5 days of my life trying to met with this guy who claims that a corporation from an alternate earth is trying to steal our natural resources.

Lan on the other hand has been a busy girl while I was gone. She got in some great pictures of Spontaneous Human Combustion.

Now I've heard that these people of Los Angeles have got a coupla ideas that haven't rolled on back east yet but I didn't expect for them to be so far ahead of us on timepiece implantation.

Well if your waiting for something loopy to happen at the wedding let me put your mind to ease. Nothing strange happened. No kidnappings, no anal probes, no nothing.

Well I'm safe and sound at Bently's but about 10 hours ago I was sure my life was in danger of being cut short. As soon as I had grabbed my stuff at baggage claim I was approached by 4 young Asian men who kinda sorta 'insisted' I go with them.

OK crisis averted, problem solved. I think I have a way for everyone to get happy and for no one to get hurt. (insert trumpet fanfare here)

OK, OK no more e-mails I'm turning those e-mail addresses off. I think I've found a way to make everyone happy. More details to follow.

So anonymous has been busy this week Another new e-mail with another interesting event, this one captured on video. Its up in the 'pedia until I decide otherwise.

There's no info attached to them in the e-mail. I did a little recon via the world wide weird and my sources but no one has ever heard of these autopsy photos.

The new story in the Freakopedia may be a little too intense (mostly the photographs) for the younger freaks so make sure little Sally Mae is tucked into her bed before you check it out.

Nothing cheers me up like meeting someone else that's worse off than I am and this guy in Gulf Breeze has sure got it bad.

Seems like some half crazed guy was roaming half nekkid around the park causing trouble, scaring the tourists, shouting nonsense and in general making a nuisance of himself. Well they finally caught him and it turns out that he wasn't speaking nonsense, he was speaking Russian.

Well sorta lost. I kinda know where I am in relation to the saner parts of the world but I have no idea where I am in relation to the guy who claims that the devil came to visit him and left his handprint on a tree.

Met with a guy who works at one of the theme parks in town. He's an audio engineer which means that when they have a new attraction or area it's his job to decide what kind of music or effects it is going to have. Neat job but the most interesting thing is that he collects audio recordings of ghosts as a hobby.

My informant at the tabloid newsmag gave me an interesting lead on a the South African version of a bigfoot. It took some calling around to Johannesburg but I got the story

Jason and I have spent most of the last week tracking down a story about a 3 legged stripper working somewhere in Florida. This of course means that we spend a lot of time in strip clubs.

Thanks for the e-mailed tip from John-boy in LA (la-la land) about the gang banger's ghost dog. It's an interesting story and is fresh off the press here at freak central. Course it's not the first time a pet has come back to haunt it's owner.

Our cub reporter in Budapest sent an amazing e-mail this week about a Hungarian woman who claims to have given birth to an octopus. Make sure you check it out.

In case you haven't seen it make sure and go check out the home page. The 'Lordz of the New Machine' hacked us last night and left a nice new opening page. Out of respect for their handiwork (and over the requests of my own personal hacker, Lan) I'm leaving it up for 24 hours.

I failed to mention this little old lady I met when I was in Manhattan. She works at this record shop in the Village where I went and bought presents for all the freaks in my life.

Well the board is back up so gets to discussing your little hearts out. I drop by there now and again and put in my 5 cents worth. And before you tell me what a genius I am for fixing it let me just set the record straight and tell ya that Lan did it, not me.

Before you e-mail me I know the discussion board is down. I'm well aware. Get off my back. I tried to fix it and I made things worse. Lan will be back soon and she can fix it and make all your lives go back to normal.

Derek, your host with the most speaking up from the lovely confines of the Derek bunker located somewhere in the midst of the Sunshine State. I am now happy to report that Freakylinks is Y2K compliant.

A police lieutenant was interested enough in me coming up that he gave me the name and address of a man who is a voodoo priest up in this Haitian neighborhood. I'm going up to interview him later today.

I'm somewhere on the coast between North Carolina and Virginia. I write this in the booth of a truckstop as I wait for my '18 wheeler delight' omelet.

I gots another e-mail from my friend over at the tabloid. He was handling a story that looked a 'little more real' than most. Thought I might be interested in doing some leg work on it for the web site. Evidently a Mafia guy got killed by what looks to be voodoo.

I've gotten several e-mails recently from people wondering just how all this information tends to gravitate to me. Luck of the draw I guess. Sometimes news falls into my lap and sometimes I have to get my ass up and go track it down

A big thanks to Tucker in Tuscalosa for the tip on the dead tree. I drove up to God's country the day before yesterday and checked it out.

I'm back from the swamp. Muddy and stinking of rotten fish but I'm back. Well I was stinking of fish. I threw the T-shirt and pants I was wearing out as soon as I got away from the fish camp where the new web cam is set up.

Yeah, you may call it tabloid journalism but I call it an encyclopedia of the weird. The hell with 24 hour cable news or the 30 minute round up of the world you see every night at 6:30 on the tube. Tabloid, muck-raking, journalism is where it is at!

Yea, yea happy birthday to me and all that crap. I'm one year older and deeper in debt as the song goes. I quit being excited about my birthday right around the time I stopped getting 10 bucks in tokens for the arcade as a gift.

This is Lan filling in for Derek. He had a little too much celebration at the party last night and is feeling a bit under the weather. He's on the couch and is currently unable to form complete sentences, much less type.


Rants from 2001

Rants from 2000

Rants from 1999

Rants from 1998


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