December 5th, 1999

Hiya friends and freaks,

Oh the loon from Atlanta has contacted me again. He must have some kind of phobia against corporations because his new story is all about Amelia Earhart running a major airline. He's moved too. Now he's in Seattle. "looking out for our interests" as he puts it. Surprising that he doesn't get offended at the comments I've made about him. Guess he's happy as long as the message is getting out. Also said that he had to change "his look" because I ran that picture of him. I hesitate to think what "his look" is now.

Jason has convinced me that both of us should grow beards. He says we'll look, "mean and tough, like mountain men" I pointed out to him that there's no mountains in Florida but that didn't deter him. So I'm humoring him and seeing what I look like with some facial hair. Mom says I remind her of a hillbilly. I'm not sure that's the look I was going for but you take what you can get.

I'm sorry to report that the t-shorts and videos have been put on hold for a short while. It's just got to be too much for me to handle and there is no way I can scout out all the weirdness in the world on one hand and fill T-shirt orders with the other hand (I need both hands too myself). So the long and the short of it is that I've contacted another company that I can sub-contract the orders out to. They will handle, manufacturing, and distribution for me and get a cut of the profits. Don't worry, I'll still make sure everything is up to the ultra high standards you expect from a Freakylinks. No half-ass operations, no sir, not me. I swear on bible (for all of you that know me, just play along like you don't know any better).

And don't worry if you have sent money or used a charge card for an order. You can either be first on the waiting list when I get the new system set up or I will refund your money. Your choice. See how nice I am?

hurdy gur,

Derek "BR-549" Barnes

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