Just in time for Christmas, I got e-mailed this lovely scanned Polaroid. The message with it says it all.

-Begin e-mail

Derek,

After I found your website I knew you would appreciate this story. I swear to God it's true

Last summer I got drunk with some friends out by our lake where we live. Don't laugh, cause you think we're losers. The town I live in is tiny and there isn't any place to go to party. We were all drinking vodka and I can't drink it straight so I was mixing it with orange juice. After a while I ran out of juice and still wanted more so I thought I'd just mix in a little of the pond water with the stuff. I know it was dumb to do but it wasn't like the lake was polluted plus I thought that the vodka would kill any bad bacteria in the water. Sorta how you see on TV when a cowboy pours whiskey over a bullet wound? Anyway we all got real drunk and most of us passed out around the bank of the lake. In the morning when I woke up I felt terrible but just thought it was from drinking so much. I slept it off on Sunday and felt better and went to school the next day.

A couple of weeks went by and I started getting stomach aches real bad. One day it got so bad I stayed home from school. Well I just got sicker and sicker and then I got that feeling like you have when you know you're going to throw up. I rushed into the bathroom and stuck my head over the toilet just in time. I felt these chunks coming out of my mouth but I didn't realize what they were until I looked in the toilet bowl and saw the frogs! They were all alive but moved real slow. I know they weren't in there before I threw up and the only thing I can think of is that somehow I got some tadpole eggs mixed in with that pond water I was drinking and swallowed them. I decided to take a picture of it so I could prove it later.

I swear I'm not making this up. Please don't e-mail me back since my mother can get into my e-mail.

Buddy

-end e-mail

I'm not even going to touch this one with a ten foot pole. - Derek