November 3rd, 2000
What's new pussycat? (Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa)
A little Tom Jones never hurt anyone. Least that's what my mom always said. I'm back from a visit to Spano Texas, a little dusty, a little bruised up, but mostly OK. No one ever said digging into the paranormal was an easy gig and this one was a little more trouble than it's worth. There's a new story in the Freakopedia for you guys to check out, take it with a grain of salt.
Tourism is all the rage in Spano (Or at least the locals hope it will be.) While I was enjoying my sojourn in the middle of nowhere I managed to pick up two lovely t-shirts that are the currently the height of fashion in that neck of the woods.
Well I checked my closet and since it looks like I have enough T-shirts to last me until the Thunderbird comes back to Owensmouth I've decided to let you guys have 'em. If you are signed up for the newsletter and enter my latest contest you too could be the proud owner of desert squid memorabilia. (Calm down, OK?)
RECIPE FOR CHUPACABRA THAT IS BOTH TASTY AND GOOD FOR YOU
Freaky reader Georgiana was kind enough to e-mail me a recipe that has been in her family for generations (and it kinda makes you wonder about her family.) Without any further ado, here is her Great-Aunt Betty with a recipe for a little stove top strangeness.
"Dear Mr. Barnes,
I was absolutely delighted when Alan and Georgiana told me of the many seekers of chupacabra recipes who go to your site, or suite, or whatever you call it.
My family has espoused the benefits of chupacabra cuisine for years. Frankly, we're befuddled as to why this near perfect culinary fare - so nutritious and yet so versatile that it can be incorporated into almost any dish - has remained so underrated.
Many of those who visit your bulletin board thingy may be familiar with such conventional staples as Chupacabra Chimichangas, or Chupacabra Kabobs. However they may not know how easily this sweet meat's flavor lends itself to such appetizers and desserts as Chupacabra Waldorf Salad or Pineapple Upside Down Chupacabra.
And the kids love to help with Chupacabra Snicker doodles - or my own young ones' favorite: Chupacabra-sicles. Pop em' in the freezer and they're done in about an hour. Yum!
With a local publisher, I've almost finalized a cookbook culminating recipes I've accumulated over the years, but I'll give you a sneak peek at my sister Phyllis' . . .
Crunchy Pecan Chupacabra Chops
6 Chupacabra rib, loin or shoulder chops, about ¾ inches thick - about 2 pounds (Prepared in duck press)
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons mayonnaise or Cool Whip
1 tablespoon of vegetable oil
1 slice Wonder bread, minced
4 sprigs fresh parsley or 1 tablespoon dried parsley flakes
1 lb butter
1. Cut outer edge of fat on Chupacabra chops at 1-inch intervals to prevent curling.
2. Mix mustard, mayonnaise or Cool Whip, and oil. Place remaining ingredients in blender or food processor. Cover and blend on high speed, using deft on-and-off motions.
3. Set oven control to Broil.
4. Spread mustard mixture over Chupacabra chops. Coat evenly.
5. Place chops on rack in broiler pan. Broil chops with tops about 6 inches from heat about ten minutes until brown. Turn; broil 10 to 15 minutes longer or until chops are slightly pink in center.
1 Serving: Calories 590 (Calories from fat 280), Fat 57 g (Saturated 27 g) Cholesterol 300mg; Sodium 710mg; Carbohydrate 43g (Dietary Fiber -3g); Protein .25 g
By all means, prepare this tasty dish for your loved ones. They'll rave about it for days on end. But tell them where you heard it first. We must give credit where it is due."
After a recipe like that what more can I say?
Derek "ordering out" Barnes