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DIARY OF A MADMAN
November 1st, 2000

Oh man, oh man.

It's sometime in the afternoon, I think, (least the sun seems to be in the western part of the sky) and I'm just now getting my butt out of bed. Went to a Halloween party last night at the urgings of my better halves (well that's what Lan and Jason call themselves) and I'm paying the price. I'm never in a real cheerful mood on Halloween (brings back to many bad memories) so I decided to drink my way to happiness last night. (And that was a huge mistake.)

Man I really like putting things into parentheses don't I? My old English teacher would be getting out the red pen right about now if she could read this. Lemme go get a glass of water and try to clear up my head...or maybe a hammer to knock myself out with. I'll be right back.

(Insert sound of yours truly stumbling downstairs, fumbling around for a glass and trudging back upstairs)

OK, I feel about 2 percent better. I think getting this hung over may be a sign that I'm getting older. I used to be able to stay out all night, go to bed at 5 am and then be back up at the crack of noon. I don't think my body works like that anymore. Ow.....Even my hair hurts.

(Note to self, never, ever drink anything labeled "super secret special Halloween punch.")

All right, lets see if I can be at least semi-coherent while I write this. I'm pretty sure you didn't log on to read about the throbbing in my head.

I SEE YOU BABY, SHAKING THAT ASS

Lan was happy to tell me that we won the cool site of the month award at Cool Site of the day.com That's pretty swell. You can check our official rating on that site by clicking here. Thanks for voting for us guys. You are the wind beneath my winds, the sugar in my coffee, the bread tie on my loaf of life.

NEWS FROM THE WATCH-ME-GET-RIPPED-OFF-DEPARTMENT

Wanna take a guess on who this guy is? I'll give ya 3 hints.

  1. He likes being the muscleman for a certain paranormally obsessed midget.

  2. He likes getting what he wants.

  3. He doesn't like moonlit walks on the beach.

(Well ok, I just made that last factoid up but I'm pretty sure it's the truth)

If you guessed Stu Carmichael then give yourself a Mentos. (it's the freshmaker, ya know) When last we heard from this little weasel he was busy getting things off the top shelf for our favorite little Oompa Lompa, Gunter Mahlberg. These days it looks like he's branching out into plagiarism by shamelessly ripping off my website.

Yes that's right, a Mahlberg stooge has got his own website.

www.creepyclicks.com

And oh what a fine website it is. You guys should check it out if for nothing else than a laugh or too. I'd invite you to e-mail Stu but he seems to have forgotten about that whole e-mail thing in his haste to waste bandwidth. Maybe he's just worried about actually having to talk to the outside world. Or maybe he's afraid that he would be inundated with e-mails telling him how beautifully designed and original his website was (Note to Stu, that last sentence was a little something called sarcasm)

OK, OK, I just re-read my rant and it would appear that I'm a little bit jaded and full of bitterness on this fine Wednesday afternoon. Blame it on the punch I drank last night. I'm usually a much more positive person. I think I'll go back to bed and see if I can set a new Olympic sleep endurance record.

Hurdy Gur,
Derek "Do Not Disturb" Barnes



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DIARY OF A MADMAN

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