November 28th, 2000
I opened up the fridge door just now and caught sight of that turkey carcass looking up at me. Kinda scary. All that dead meat and bone laying there on the second shelf next to the mustard bottle. Looks like something out of a Ted V Mikels movie. After staring at it for a long minute I finally took the bold step of throwing that sucker into the trash outside. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was hearing the cries of the turkey in my mind (And trust me when I say that wasn't a good thing) Jason is gonna be upset when he comes over to steal another turkey sandwich but he'll just have to deal with it. My the turkey gods have mercy upon my soul.
ON YEAH, WINTERTIME AND THE LIVING IS EASY
In between reports of chads, butterfly ballots, and the beauty of Katherine Harris, I've been seeing some pictures and reports that you folks up north are getting some kind of strange weather phenomenon called "snow."
Well on paper this snow stuff looks interesting. It falls to the ground, turns everything white and then you can do stuff on it. But if you ask me (And you wouldn't be here if you didn't hang on every word I say, right?) there's some serious drawbacks. I mean, just look at Buffalo New York. Those guys don't look too thrilled to be under 3 feet of the stuff. I'll be more than happy to sit my little butt right here in Central Florida where the only white stuff is the strange foam that washes up on the shore from time to time.
I thought I would cheer you northerners up by offering some footage of me out enjoying the sweet Florida sunshine. For the past coupla days the weather here has been just perfect. It makes you forget that in the summer you have to peel your shirt off from the humidity. I spent yesterday goofing off with some skate-rat friends cruising around a warehouse district and trying to relive my glory days when I thought that my future entailed me being a world-class skateboarder. You can see me in all my glory by checking out the QuickTime. Lan promised me she would have it up and edited so I could show all you guys that I ain't too old to rock and roll. I still got the moves I tell ya. I am the wunder king of the back alleys.
OK, back to the grindstone. I've been busy writing up one of the stories I stumbled into during my trip out to the west coast. I should have this puppy down sometime this week and post it for all the world to see.
Hurdy Gur, Derek "sweatin' to the oldies" Barnes