September 20th, 2000
There's a lot of things about me you wouldn't understand.
...you couldn't understand.
...you shouldn't understand.
-Pee Wee Herman, Pee Wee's Big Adventure-
( but I think he may have been talking about me)
Hey what's happening?
Well I'm busier than a sea serpent at a boat show what with all this moving things
from Orlando to my ultra deluxe, super-swank, home on the beach. Going to live at
someone's else's home while they are away makes me feel just like Magnum P.I.
(only with out the cheesy mustache) Lan has got most of the tech stuff set up
and I sit here at my brand new desk (courtesy of Bob's Bargain Barn) and type out
my first entry from my new digs.
Yea, I could really get use to having a nice place. Course with my luck my friend
Buddy will break his leg riding a curl in Maui and I'll be thrown out of here faster
than you can say "scam artist." Oh well, I'll enjoy it while I have it.
GLOWING BUNNY = GLOWING KITTIES??
The discussion board has been full of talk about the glowing cat story I posted a
while back. Normally I leave it up to you, dear reader, to sort out the facts from
the hype but I just read a story that may shed new light on the issue. Check out
this ABC news article
and read all about the wonders of science. (Thanks to all the readers who e-mailed
me the link)
So does this mean the kittens are part of some sinister artistic cult hell bent on
creating glow in the dark critters? God, I sure hope so (and could this work on humans?)
THE BINARY BATHROOM CODEX
Lot's of theories have been sent in on what the deal is with that oh-so-wacky
bathroom story I did last week. I've posted the best of them as add-on's to
the page. Take your pick from the ones I have put up or make up your own and
e-mail it to me. The whole thing is still open to debate.
In a similar vein (vampire pun intended) faithful reader and scourge of the
northwest, Windjammer did a little binary coding of his own and sent me an
e-mail with the following code attached. Can crack it? I sure couldn't (and
I'm a bitter man because of it.)
The only hint is..... HEX
TWEAKING THE TWIT FILTER
Speaking of discussion boards, Spacemonkey had a particular interesting idea on
how to censor curse words that I thought was a stroke of genius. Lan just
finished implanting the changes today and it should make for some interesting
conversations. (insert maniacal webmaster laugh here)
THE SPRING HEELED FOOL
After hearing about those Russian spring shoes last week I tried in vain to find
a pair to buy. (Why doesn't Russia have Ebay?) So instead of just letting the
unattainable haunt me I decided to make a pair of my own. Jason was kind enough
to tape me making a fool of myself and you can view the results below.
What was the end result of my scientific findings?
1. Big ass springs on ski boots don't make you jump higher
2. Jason is now convinced that I have lost my mind
3. The rock band KISS won't be calling me to replace Gene Simmons anytime soon.
But hey, if you got any better ideas feel free to tape it and send it to me.
I'd love to see others jumping up and down like an idiot for all the world to see.
THIS IS THE WAY THE RANT ENDS, NOT WITH A BANG BUT WITH A WHIMPER
I gotta get off this here high tech waste of time and skidaddle (is that how you
spell it?) back to Orlando and get another load of my stuff. If everything goes
according to plan (and it rarely does with me) I should have a new story up on
Friday. Plan your schedules accordingly.
Derek "do not remove under penalty of law" Barnes