September 15th, 2000
Hey anybody out there in cyberspace land got a moving truck?
"But Derek," I hear you asking yourself, "Why would you need a moving truck?"
Good question and give yourself an extra slice of Chupacabra pie for asking (Chupacabra, it's the other, other, white meat)
Well it may only look like I'm sitting here pretty in my high castle in Freakovania. Truth be told, it's mighty cramped in here, what with all the computer crap, Lan's hi-tech computer stuff, skateboard stuff, surfing stuff and my collection of Mr. T cabbage patch dolls.
Not to mention I have an angry midget chasing me around and taking pictures when I ain't properly attired. That whole hidden pic thing was the proverbial last straw so I looked around the rental classifieds and promptly discovered that there ain't no way I can afford to move......
So what's a boy to do when he needs to find a new home but he can't afford higher rent? He sponges off his friends of course! The friend in question is a surfer friend of mine named Buddy. Unlike me, Buddy actually got successful at the whole "riding a wave to fortune" game and is able to make a living off the surf circuit. He's got this huge space on the east coast of Florida he's not using and after some phone calls that involved shameful begging and pleading he's agreed to let me set up shop there. (Which just goes to prove there's a silver lining to being stalked)
So next week is going to be spent packing and dancing the moving hotchie-koo so don't despair if I don't reply to e-mails as often as I should. I'm going to be a busy boy for the next few days.... Now if I can only remember where the box for my full scale model of the Goatman is at.......
INSANITY IN LA
This week's story is one that Jason and I researched while out there in the city of angels...and just goes to show what madness is to be expected when I meet people who post on the discussion boards......and no, this jab is not directed at any of you, (well maybe you, Spacemonkey....insert sarcastic laugh)
Anyway check out the nifty hidden camera footage and decide for yourself if I stumbled on a deep, dark mystery or just bought into the madness of La-La land.
FREAKYLINKS; NOW WITH PATENTED VOICE OF DOOM ™ TECHNOLOGY
You may notice a little something different out there when you click on the new story...and hopefully it's a good thing. Lan went out and bought me this new voice recorder and I've started playing around with it. As a result you get to hear me giving my two cents worth at the beginnings of new stories. That's right, you can listen to my ranting and raving coming straight out of your speakers just like you were standing next to me! (ain't you the lucky one?) Lan thinks this might cause much wailing of arms and gnashing of teeth (something about my voice and how it has a detrimental effect on small dogs and children) but I think it just brings us one step closer...like one big, dysfunctional, paranoid, family.
Derek "You look just like an Elvis from Hell" Barnes