August 5th, 2000
Guys, guys, guys, (and the occasional girl),
Never, ever buy a car using the "first thing I find in the shortest amount
of time" theory.
I'm of course basing this logic on the fact that the "Galaxie 500" I bought
yesterday is quite possibly the worst piece of junk that moves on the west
. . I never knew just how cool shock absorbers could be until I started
driving without them . . .
. . .I never thought how useful FM radio was until I was forced to listen to
low budget AM talk for around 12 hours. (and I now know all there is to
know about George W Bush and what a cool, swell and all around wonderful cat
he is . . . .and if you believe that then I got a wonderful Galaxie 500 I'd
love to sell ya.
OK, enough with the politics, I'm writing this from Redding California.
(the Vagabond Motel rocks!) I would have gotten farther in my quest up to
Seattle Washington but I noticed that the car makes a really weird noise if
I drive it faster than 52 miles an hour (and that noise is not one I'm all
that interested in investigating)
I did stop long enough in San Fransico to interview a guy named Britianica I
have heard about.
He's a spokesman for a weird gang of radicals called the "Satyr Liberation
Army" and has some extreme ideas about urban renewal. Let's just say for
now that I wouldn't plan on building any more parking garages near Haight
Street if I was you.
Sorry for being slow on annoucing the winner of the haiku contest but I've
had my hands full with driving up the coast in a car that's about to fall
apart. I'll let you guys know the outcome on Monday in the newsletter and
the diary page. (that's the day the next Freakopedia entry comes out as
well so that should give ya something to live for, huh?)
And Windjammer if I make it in one piece to Seattle I'll do my darndest to
give ya a call. Course who knows if I'll even make it that far north . . .
.well maybe in a Greyhound bus
OK, good-night for now, I gotta catch some z's so I can get behind the wheel
of death once again tomorrow. . . . If anyone has any idea on that cryptic
clue left on the map I got, feel free to e-mail me. It's as pain in the
butt to answer them on the road (I have to use a hotmail account since I'm
cable based at home) but I do read the stuff I get every night.
Oh yeah, I drove across this today . .
Kinda makes ya think about the amount of flouride they're putting in the
water up here, don't it?
Derek "north bound and down" Barnes