July 21st, 2000


Well as you read this I am already on the road heading out to the great unknown with my trusted (well . .sorta trusted) friend Jason at my side. Sure his company thinks this trip is all about delivering vehicles from point A to point B but they have no idea we're on the luck out for the weird and wacky. For the next two weeks Lan is holding down the fort at the Casa de Freaky while I do some exploring. (so be on your best behavior while I'm gone, ok?) I'll have my first update posted to the site on Saturday so be sure to keep reading (and keep those paranormal tips pouring in as well)


Thanks to everybody who sent in their vision of me. I've been overcome with joy at seeing exactly how I look through the eyes of you innocents (except for that girl who sent me a pic of the word "boring" and said it was me,) Anyway I had a hard time choosing just one winner so I decided on three finalists. I'll present them to you Olympic style and you can pretend to be the mean Russian judge.

Our bronze medallist is Scott out of Capistrano Beach California. What I dug about this one was the not so subliminal message of "cheese" in the background.

Our silver medallist is Ann from Lincoln Nebraska (that's America's bread basket ya know) for her version of "Scooby Derek." Any girl that likes dogs is ok in my book.

And our gold medal winner is KJ who hail from Middlebury Indiana. His rendition of me as a monster is filled with teen angst, over pouring with symbolism and is just plain goofy. KJ, I salute ya!

There were some other great ones and if you wanna check 'em out click here.

Since this contest was such a success I've decided to run another one (insert crowd cheering noises here) So in case you didn't win this one here's another chance to own one of the amazingly cool t-shirts that are all the rage in France (well ok, nobody in France has heard of me but it sounds cool, you know?)


Oh yeah, poetry boys and girls. And not just any run of the mill poetry but poetry based on tightly structured Japanese logic! Here's the deal:

Write a haiku poem based upon something paranormal (like ghosts, or the Loch Ness Monster or that weird look Uncle Joe makes when you mention the word "monkey" to him) You've got from now until August the 2nd to e-mail me with your best effort. The winner chosen by me gets a cool t-shirt and the rest get to be laughed at by a jury of their peers so make sure you send in your name, shipping address and if you want an large or extra large black or gray shirt. By e-mailing me your poem you agree that I can put it up on the website as entertainment for the masses. (That's the lawyer in me coming out)

In case you fell asleep in English class a haiku is a short poem consisting of three lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables each. An example of a paranormal haiku about my favorite guy, the Spring Heel Jack goes something like this:

Hello Spring Heeled Jack

Oh so bouncy are your shoes

Like rabid bunnies

(Yeah well it ain't Robert Frost but you get the picture)

Much more serious examples of the style can be found by clicking here.

(please note that I'm dead set against being serious)

So if the idea amuses you, send me your best effort. I mean, what else you going to do, go outside? It's way too hot for that.


One of the freakier things happening around here is that the tiny town of Bithlo Florida holds a schoolbus figure 8 demolition derby car race every couple months or so (close your eyes and imagine that for a second) Well I got exciting news my little sherlocks, Freakylinks is sponsoring a bus in the derby! Oh yeah, you heard me right, I got a school bus, someone crazy enough to drive it, and a race in which to hit other school buses with it. I'll have lots of cool photos and video of the excitement as it happens so be on the look out for the school bus o' doom coming to these pages soon!

Hurdy gur,

Derek "rhyming and stealing" Barnes

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