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DIARY OF A MADMAN
June 25th, 2000

June 25th midnight, somewhere north of Troy Alabama

I'm convinced that there's some hidden force in Alabama that causes people to go one step further into the unknown than most people are ready to go. I've interviewed people all over this state and everywhere I go I sense that they are "touched." Not in a bad way, mind you, but "touched" by some force to achieve a destiny that is just out of their reach. Again and again I see it in these otherwise common people. They look just like you, or me, or your grandfather, but inside them is a fire, a passion, something that drives them close to the brink of unknown genius. I can relate to this vision from beyond. I sense that if I stayed in this state much longer I would become like them, driven to reach for something beyond my grasp. Already I can sense the kudzu reaching to close around me. I feel the contained energy of the roadside firework palaces waiting to explode in gaudy splendor for my amusement. I know the endless 2 lane blacktops are just waiting for me to drive on them, deeper and deeper into this confusion . . . . .

. . . .woah, I need to snap out of it. Maybe I have been in Alabama too long. A cold drink and a moon pie should do the trick. Of course it doesn't help that Jason is watching a tv program on spontaneous human combustion (I swear to God) Sometimes I'm convinced this stuff follows me around.

Spent today in Ashville talking to a Bigfoot researcher named Hawk. I'll have his full story up in a new entry sometime after I make it back to Orlando. Got a lot of great info about the elusive creature and some really cool stories. I even went out into the woods looking for Sasquatch with him. (how cool is that?)

What else? Well Jason and I stopped at one of those roadside attraction joints (Jason got a hankering for boiled peanuts) and I discovered a new friend. Here's a pic. of him.

I'm making him a new mascot and now all he needs is a name. That's where you come in, my little sherlocks. E-mail me with name ideas for this robotic paranormal sniffing pooch and I'll make it my job to pick the best one. The winner gets a t-shirt and a mention in a future diary entry (oh the thrill!) There's no time limit to the contest but I'll know the right name when I see it so . . .get ready . . .get set . . .be witty!

OK, time to sign off . . .By the way, have I mentioned that there is a giant pixie living in the motel bathroom?

hurdy gur
Derek "madness surrounds me" Barnes


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