January 20th, 2000
Derek reporting with an All Points Bulliten
Listen up! I'm sitting here simply slack jawed by the new trick pulled out of Lan's HTML hat. We've been going back and forth about getting some new marketing ploys out there into the world wide weird in an effort to snare more of that phat internet audience and lo and behold, Lan has come through again.
Yes sir ree bob, paint me red and call me a dutch uncle, WE GOT POSTCARDS!!!
And not those boring, seen 'em before postcards you see on every other site.
Nope. not us.
I mean think about it, a website needs to be a real place, a community where
you can go to and escape from the everyday rank and file, right? In short,
a vacation spot. Now when you go to your vacation spot (like some isolated
cabin if you're the Unabomber, or Fantasy island if you've got a thing for
midgets in white suits) you want to tell all your friends what a cool place
you've found right? You want them to know that you are currently living it
up, you've got what they want. In short, you want them to know how much
cooler you are than them, right? (nod your head at this point)
So what you do at times like that is to send a postcard, right? "Having a
wonderful time, wish you were here so you can buy me beer . . ." that sorta
thing. Well Lan has got the closest thing to a reality postcard you can get
in this electronic boogie we call the web. We got postcards that look like
real postcards, we got postcards that are stamped like real postcards, we
got postcards that are so similar to the real thing that your friends and
neighbors will be trying to grab them off the video screen (does not apply
to Timex Sinclair users)
And the best thing is the pictures. Just like in that big old nasty world
out there beyond your computer, our postcards are so damn cool they'll have
your friends tripping over their tongues in an effort to congratulate you on
how hip and with it you are. I mean, lets face it, you ain't gonna find a
postcard with a three legged stripper just anywhere. In fact you ain't
gonna find it anywhere but here, your home town website, Freakylinks.
So now without further ado (whatever in the hell ado is) I give you the all
new instamatic, piping hot, Send a Postcard feature (insert overblown
trumpet fanfare here)
Go nuts! Send these to everyone in your address book, make them learn the
hard way why you are the King of the information age. I double dog dare ya.
Derek "mass marketing is my life" Barnes
P.S. Lan wants me to tell you guys that this icon will be on every
Freakopedia page so you can click once, click often!