March 17th


Sorry for the delay but I went up to North Carolina with Mom to visit her sister and just got back. (Maybe a portable means of communication is in order.) Good time had by all. I did the family thing for as long as I could take it but finally begged the car away from Mom and did a little sightseeing on my own.

Big shout out to my local homies in the big N.C. (don't I sound all street and stuff?)

Seriously though, I did hook up with some of my e-mailers and got some fantastic new information from them. Did you know life from other planets is living here on earth?

Speaking of other life. I also got some great stills from them on this great big fleshy something that landed on the beach after the last big hurricane hit.

Brad (the leader of these Carolina crazies) told me that there's a local beach where a sea serpent is sometimes spotted. We hung around there for a day, at his condo, swilling beer and trying to convince girls to come by but nothing happened. Maybe the girls were in cohoots with the sea monster, I dunno.

I borrowed a board and tried out the waves but the surf was lazy so we just body surfed for a bit and came back to the beach to drink more.

Anyway, all this stomping around on the beach gave me that warm fuzzy feeling of being proactive again. I really feel like this is what I want to do, be an information gatherer for the new world wide weird. Of course it would help if I could support myself with this new hobby. I took an unexpected leave of absence from the current McJob. (someone else will have to make sure the toner cartridge is full.) Show your sympathy by buying a T-shirt and the new skate video by clicking here.

On the way back I convinced Mom to take a detour to Athens Ga. so I could meet Lan. I had always thought it was a guy and she never took it upon herself to correct me so let me just say now that I'm an idiot for assuming the sex of an unseen person with an ambidextrous name. Lan pulls double duty working at a computer design firm and as a bartender at a very noisy bar. When she wasn't pulling beers for the frat boys she gave me lots of helpful pointers about how the web page can be improved (and maybe start making a profit for itself) So see Lan, I did keep all those bar napkins we were writing on (although one of them is a bit blurred from a beer spill). She also gave me some local news clippings that she has collected. (once you read them you'll also be convinced that everyone in Georgia is nuts)

And a very special message to my friend Jason. The next time you say you will feed the goldfish while I am gone. FEED THE GOLDFISH! That's right brothers and sisters the two aquatic loves of my life "Loch Ness" and "Kraken" are dead, DOA, kaput, belly up. In other words, a bit under the weather. Make sure and yell "killer" at Jason when you see him on the street. He's not hard to miss being 6' 3'' and built like a Detroit linebacker who never cuts his hair.

I must now go to the bathroom and give my former pets the burial at sea that they so richly deserve.

hurdy gur,
Derek "beer drinking, information gathering, mother freaker" Barnes

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