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DIARY OF A MADMAN
Dec. 12th

Howdy,

I'm back from P.R. no worse for the wear. Unless you count the hair one of the mini-mules snatched off my arm while I wasn't paying attention.

Almost back I mean, I'm writing this as we circle for a landing at the airport. My left foot has fallen asleep cause it's being crammed into the back of the chair in front of me. I always try to get a emergency aisle when I'm flying (I call it the poor man's version of 1st class) Airline travel has to be the worst form of transportation in terms of comfort. I long for the days when giant dirigibles plied the skies offering rooms, bars, and plenty of stretching room. Well OK, they did have that little teensy-wheensie problem of catching on fire and burning up in about 45 seconds but other than that flaw everything was just perfect. Right about now, with my foot in danger of falling off from lack of circulation, the threat of a hydrogen fire seems a minor price to pay for being treated like a human being.

Surfing was a complete washout with a 2 foot breaks that kept bottoming out. I also managed to get a healthy dose of sea lice in my swim suit and to top it off someone broke into the rental car and yanked out the stereo. (maybe it was the goat sucker in need of some new tunes)

On the plus side, Lan says she's getting an image from the new camera so I guess it was worth the price I paid (never mind the fact that everything was paid for by someone else, isn't my time and comfort worth something?) Oh the price I pay to be King of the freaks. Oh woe is me, oh heavy hangs the head that wears the crown . . .

Gotta go, the stewardess (or are they all called airline attendants now?) is telling me to turn this laptop off before I make the airplane nose dive into Lake Ocheechobee

hurdy gur,
Derek " Too tall" Barnes


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DIARY OF A MADMAN

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