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DIARY OF A MADMAN
Monday January 12th

Howdy friends and neighbors,

Have you noticed a new look to the screens? Yes that's right, I went out and bought an HTML code book. See, that just shows you the dedication I have to making this the best site money can buy. (well actually I read the book and returned it for a refund but I think you get the general feeling.) At least now the background is a soothing black color. I like black, cause that's the way I feel on the inside. I also wear a goatee and listen to Bauhaus because only they can understand my post teenage angst (oh the pain, the pain!)

wait, wait, I just changed the background to sea-foam green. It looks pretty, like a maid of honor at a sorority girl's wedding.

no, wait now I changed it to mauve. (OK I'm lying I have no idea what color mauve actually is)

I shot video over at Spook Hill but even with the book it was beyond me how to post it so you have to settle for stills for right now. I know you had your heart set on seeing a car roll uphill but . . . . .

I've also put up 2 new stories guaranteed to warm the cockles of your heart. A lovely Sister of the Church who just happened to bleed like a stuck pig and a spoon bender you'll be wanting to invite over for your next little soiree. (well since he disappeared into the vaults of commie Russia I doubt you could find him to invite for tea)

I've also got T-shirts for sale!

"But Derek", I can hear you saying, "The web site looks like crap, it's got no content and it's mostly filled with your incoherent babbling. Isn't it to early to try and suck money from people who are just searching for a little mindless entertainment?"

Well come closer to me my little internet buddy and let me be truthful to you.

IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY TO GET PAID!

(insert carnival music) That's right folks, step right up and get your MonsterFreaks T-shirt. Ten measly dollars. One Alexander Hamilton or 2 Abe Lincolns get you a wonderful souvenir of a web site you never knew existed. Amaze your friends, astound your enemies., make your mother faint from your lack of fiscal responsibility. Yes sir-re-bob I gots the T-shirt for you! One size fits all. (As long as you fit into an XL) Click here to see a picture of the shirt modeled by Mr. Crowley the web wonder dog

Well I'd love to stay longer and reminisce about the old times and how you saved my life in the Nam but I must go tend to a hot color copier machine at a copy center that shall remain nameless to protect my integrity.

hurdy gur,
Derek "You want that glossy?" Barnes


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DIARY OF A MADMAN

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