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PAGES 30 THROUGH 33 |
PAGE 30...stuff we found scattered outside the tent covered in that shit. There is not time to sort anything out in my head. I should have never cut down that doll from the tree. I think I did it to prove to the guys that I wasn't scared. I don't even think I could process the fact that I was seeing what I was seeing. My mind is so fully in documentarian mode that I have failed to fully, deeply register fear until Josh disappeared this morning. I was scared about being lost, but I never really thought that our lives would be in danger. I've shot a bit on the CP so far. I think I can handle it. Whatever is chasing us has to be documented. I am in a situation now where I have no choice. If something is going to harm me that I can't stab or kill and if I am defenseless in the face of it, the least I... |
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PAGE 31 ...can do is capture it so that people will know it is real. There is no feasible way for 3 people to walk south for an entire day and end up where they started. Something is as work here and it terrifies me. I could cry. I have cried. Crying will not save my life. This is an excruciatingly bad dream. Which will end. It has to. Josh could have found help by now and they could all be on their way to us. |
Again, the issue - do we hide, or do we make ourselves as obvious as possible. For the moment, we're hiding. I
am in the tent, and I am scared to take my boots off because I want to move fast.
I want to stay awake to keep watch, but my body is overwhelming me. My senses
are hyperacute to the point of hallucination. My mag lite died (I'm using Mike's
now) and I am sure it is some evil thing at work. How could I not. How can you hear...
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PAGE 32 ...children laughing in the woods in the dead of one night, wake to find your friend gone the next, and on the third, when your mag light dies - you're supposed to think [it I] not happened? I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow. Okay, rephrase that. I WANT to feel better tomorrow. Why can I not remember what you can eat and what you can't in the woods? Why does everything look the same but nothing is the same? Why am I crying again? Some animal is making it's animal sound in the woods right now and I can't stop thinking of those children we heard. I am writing. I am writing. I am writing. I am okay. If I were a pizza I would be topped with black olives, onions, pepperoni, mushrooms, and extra cheese. I miss Greg. I miss him so much. I miss warmth and touching and snuggling and... |
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PAGE 33 ...clean underwear. I am laughing now. Good. Laughing is good. It was the clean underwear thing. It was the very thought of my underwear that made me laugh. I am hearing things and they are all in my imagination. Branches break all the time. Naturally. If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is there to hear it it doesn't make a sound. It is only because I am here that there are sounds. Okay. Okay. Okay. Mike and I are okay. All limbs, bones and eyes in order. I am going to lay down now. Documents. Documenting. Documentation. Verifying existence. That makes sense right. I am verifying that I am still here. 12:30 am - Everytime we fall asleep is... |
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