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PAGES 34 THROUGH 37 |
PAGE 34 ...when something bad happens. We heard Josh. It sounded so much like Josh. We want to hear him so badly, but not like that. He was screaming like someone was hurting him. Maybe it's all in our minds. I can write and I won't fall asleep. I thought we should just keep running the cameras, but we don't have as much battery power as we used to. We still have a lot left, but we had a lot of food at one point, too. The rumble in both our bellies is loud. If I stay awake, Mike and I are safe. He is sleeping again and I'm using his mag light. Maybe he's just pretending to be asleep, but either way I'm not going to deny him his peace. For now company would be good. My mom and dad would be good. Writing is good, but I don't know what to write. Hunger is a... |
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PAGE 35 ...powerful thing. It's hard to keep your shit together when your belly is screaming. How do I document what is happening so people know..how many shots of trees in the dark can one person have? So much of it is sounds, but Mike never will bring the DAT outside the tent and I am beyond the point of asking. |
| I can feel myself sinking today. |
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Hoping someone will pull me back up so I can float again. I cannot fall asleep. Cannot. Cannot. Cannot. Even though my body is weak my will can still be strong. It has to be. I am an ache from the inside out. |
PAGE 36 I am losing hope. Actually, I may have lost it. I didn't think it was possible to be where I am at. Staring. Waiting. I have nothing left to say. Tape Tape Film Film Film. We are being stalked and whatever is stalking us will at least be documented. Please God, let someone find our tapes. Please. To all the people I love, and you know who you are I love you. Simply that. I love you with all my heart and more. If something bad happens to me I will always find you and look out for you and help in anyway I can as I sincerely tried to do in my life. To Josh & Mike's parents - I am sorry. I am sorry for what happened to your sons and to my beautiful babycakes - I will love no matter where I am. I lack the strength to hold the pen. Hey, those last two lines rhyme. Why even [noe] that really, its obvious, but anything... |
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PAGE 37 ...that brings humor is welcome especially now. I want to laugh. I want to laugh. I want to laugh.
(end of journal) |
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