Bad Smelling Monster of Florida
South Florida Everglades - With millions of untamed acres, this part of Florida seems destined to have it's share of unnatural beasts and things that go bump in the night. Well maybe that should be go stink in the night, since the monster of the everglades has so strong a stench that it's called a skunk ape.
The skunk ape is claimed to be a relative of the yeti from the pacific northwest and is described as 7 to 8 feet tall, muddy brown in color and carries a stench that is a combination of an outhouse, wet dog, and a chicken coop. The legend of a skunk ape first surfaced in the late 70's after the famous Patterson Bigfoot footage. It was also around this time that developers started expanding out into the skunk apes natural habitat, the Florida Everglades. Since that time there's been over a dozen sightings.
"Big, big and hairy and smelly. I saw him clambering around out there in the woods and hollered but he didn't pay me no never mind." That's how pulp wooder Bobby Gains described the monster after meeting him near the Bill Cypress Preserve in 1985.
Other witnesses to the beast confirm the reek he emanates and state that it's impossible to stay in the area because of the smell. Many amateur cryptozooligists have hoped to catch the animal and prove his existence. Skunk ape hunters claim that he can be lured out by the smell of lima beans cooking or a freshly killed deer liver. Other hunters claim a tree stand and patience is the only way to make capture certain.
The Florida Game and Freshwater Fish Commission has been keeping track of the recent upswing of sightings and reports that the animal seem to be moving North up into the central Florida region. Most recently the area of Lake Ocheechobee has been the skunk ape hotspot. Spokesman Tomas Newberry stated recently that he thinks the animal is heading north. "He's just like the rest of us South Floridians. After you have to deal with that craziness going on down here, you need to move."
-"Skunk Apes, a Florida Bigfoot?" Fate and Science magazine, April 1978
-phone interview with Tomas Newberry, January 25th. 1999