March 1st, 2000
Merry Leap Day to you!
Hum . . . .that doesn't sound quite right. I always get my holiday greetings mixed up. Last year I hung mistletoe for groundhog's day and wound up kissing a gopher . . .thank you, thank you, I'll be appearing all this week here at the lounge.
See, now you understand why I never went into stand up comedy.
Exciting paranormal news out of New York City (the town so nice they named it after a town in England . . .or something like that) If you ask me, (and I'm sure you would ask me if you were here but you're not so I'll ask myself) witches and Wall Street seem like a perfect match. Go check out the new entry and let me know what you think.
Personally I think that it's high time that the supernatural began showing it's face at the stock market. Everybody knows that what the stock market has been doing is not normal. Now we can have a way to explain it.
"Oh honey, your high tech stock split again, must have been because the new CEO of the company is a warlock."
See, this would begin to explain lots of things. Like why computers are out dated just as soon as you take them out of the cardboard box or what the term "voodoo economics" really means.
Once everybody starts accepting magic as a rational explanation things just start getting easier. Now when a little kid asks you why the sky is blue all you have to do is say, "It's magic."
Course now that I think about it, my mother always did say that when me and my brother asked her questions she couldn't answer. This may explain why I am so screwed up in the head. Hum . .maybe it's not such a good idea after all. Probably not a good idea to have a kid that thinks the same way I do. Course it did come in handy on tests when the teacher would ask those pesky questions about things I never bothered to study. I would just make up something mumbo-jumbo-ish and pass it off as a serious response. This made for lots of interesting teacher-parent conferences.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Barnes but Derek seems to think that the 3rd law of physics is "Objects remain in motion until they get vaporized by space aliens. This of course is not correct."
Of course it's not correct, everybody knows that the aliens teleport stuff, they don't vaporize anymore.
Derek "bouncy bouncy" Barnes